It’s hard to believe it’s been 11 years since we first met at the video store. Who would have guessed way back then that we’d be where we are now?

Me, an opinionated girl with something to prove.

You, a sweet guy with nothing to prove.

Us, well magic.

You’ve never made me feel bad about my weight or my circumstances. Through all of the pregnancies (three!) and at my largest weight of 300 lbs, I could always count on you to make me smile – even when I wasn’t feeling good about myself or my body.

Through all of the failed diet attempts – Atikins, Kimkins, Weight Watchers, diet pills, a stab at getting approved for gastric bypass – you supported me unquestionably.

When I started working out at the gym last Fall, you tagged along and supported me, asking ME for tips on how to lift the weights. Wow!

When I got on an outdoor running kick last Spring, but didn’t want to do it alone, guess who ran with me even though he hated it? YOU. You never once told me you hated doing it, even though you did. I figured that out on my own. You did it for ME.

When I told you I wanted to find a way to make a living by helping others and myself in the fitness realm, you told me YES, I could do it and it would be perfect for me. Never once did you laugh at me or tell me it was a crazy idea.

All of the hours spent blogging, video editing, commenting on other blogs – you never complained. Because you knew it was helping me.

I’ve always been able to count on you for support for everything that I do. EVERYTHING SINGLE THING.

When we found out Gavin was on the way – and it was surprise indeed! – you never faltered.

You’ve been the father that this girl never had. An amazing one to boot.

You played Mr. Mom to our youngest for two years while I worked full time on my career – and you enjoyed every single bit of it. She was only six weeks old when I took the job, but that made your bond with her all the more deep.

Eleven years ago, we spent some magical nights near Lake Michigan. Times I will never forget. Memories that will forever be etched in the sand dunes, near the life guard chair.

This picture, my favorite one I have of you, reminds me of how far we’ve come – and how far we’ll go.

I love you. Thank you for supporting me… And for well, being you.

I dislike labels and titles. They never seem to do anyone any good.

For instance, I had a job once and my job title was “Operations Administrative Assistant” even though I did far more technological, IT and computer programming work than I did administrative work. On some level, I thought it to be a bit demeaning having the “administrative” part in my title. Other IT professionals in the online community I participated in looked down on me because of this. It really pissed me off.

At a job previous to the one above, all of the girls in our office were referred to as “Administrative Assistants” – mainly because we were women that were all glorified typists and coffee fetchers for the men that worked for the company. We all felt so IMPORTANT. But the fact of the matter was, we were just glorified typists and coffee fetchers making minimum wage.

Sheesh.

I don’t let titles dictate how I feel about myself or my life anymore – but it wasn’t always like that though.

One title that used to royally piss me off was when I was referred to as the “fat friend”. The thing was, I’d act like it didn’t bother me. I’d act like I didn’t hear people refer to me as such. It was like it never happened in my world.

Denial is a strong emotion.

On some level I think SOME thinner girls like having a “fat friend” because it makes them look that much thinner and better. How fucking shallow is that? Pretty shallow.

As a youth, I had the same best friend from 2nd grade all the way up through about 11th grade. We did everything together. As we both grew up, I was chubbier (a.k.a. fatter) than my friend. Labels abound in the world of children and teens and she happened to be labeled the “thin one” and I was the “fat friend”.

I still feel a tinge of pain – a shot right to the heart – thinking about it. The reason why I feel this pain reminiscing may not be the “why” that you think it is.

Yes, I was chubbier than her. Maybe I was a little “fat”. The reason why it bothers me is that I gave it the power to bother me. I lost a little bit of my innocence as a child because of that label. Ironically, the label really doesn’t mean shit now.

How many times in our lives have we let other people’s labels and titles define us or determine our moods?

• She’s just a fat ass.
• He’s a faggot.
• You’re a jack ass.
• You’ll never be smart enough.
• You’re a ditsy blond.
• You’ll never be able to lose the weight
• You are lazy and will always be fat.
• She hates obese people.
• He hates thin people.
• She’s a scandalous blogger. (ha ha)
• etc, etc.

Let the negative titles and labels imposed on us by others go. Let them evaporate into nothing-ness because the truth of the matter is, none of them matter. They do not determine who you are as a person. The only things that determines who you are as a person is your thoughts and actions, not those of a hater.

How about giving yourself a POSITIVE title?

Have you ever been referred to as the “fat friend” before? How did that make you feel?

If you gave yourself a title, what would it be?

I had mostly love from my post the other day, but not everyone liked the post. That’s okay. I can’t always believe that everyone will agree with me. I just assume that if you do not like a blog’s message that you mostly move on. That’s what I do anyway.

My blog is not for everyone. My personality is not for everyone. I tell it like it is from my perspective. I have a huge heart and I will help anyone that needs anything in life. I put out a lot of love and take a lot of love. I put a lot of love into this blog and give myself lots of love. I try to keep things real.

Yesterday, my friend Roy reminded me:

Whenever somebody is reminded of a weakness, they will often lash out at the reminder, not the weakness — it’s easier that way.

Like most things Roy says, it makes a lot of sense – especially if you really think about it.

I’m not here to sugar coat my journey or my life. I’m here to be real. What you read on my blog is the real deal. It’s not puppy dogs and ice cream cones in this weight loss battle. How in the hell do you think I got to my highest weight of 300 lbs? Ice cream cones would be right.

I receive emails quite often from people that are very supportive. Most of them are from people just like YOU that are struggling.

I’d like to share one I received the other day:

I live in the UK and wanted to say thank you for your blog and videos they have given me the courage and inspiration to want to join my local gym on Monday. I’m nearly 20 and have always been overweight yet been in denial when I reached 280 stone I know I had to change and joined a slimming club I’m now 240 pounds and a love walking, jogging and cycling. I have wanted to join a gym for a number of months but never thought I could because of my size, now I know I will have the confidence to face my fear as I’m just like everyone else trying to get fit.

Again thanks for sharing you experience with others and making the gym seem less scary.

I would guess most of you have received emails like this. Doesn’t it put a smile on your face that you are helping someone? I know it sure does for me. When I read this I remembered how I felt last year. Fat, apprehensive and nervous about going to the gym. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it’s true.

The truth of the matter is, it doesn’t have to be scary. It can be a new learning experience for you that you were just meant to go through.

I also got a wonderful email from a very good friend of mine that lives far away:

I just wanted to email you and let you know I am so proud of you!  I read your blog this morning and seeing your picture your face looks so skinny!  You are a great motivator, although I just don’t have the will you have but you keep me going, I don’t bust ass like you everyday but I am doing something little at a time but its something.  Just wanted you to know that in case no one else has told you!

This one lit me up for the entire day because I do not get a lot of feedback from “real” people I know in my life.

I sat in bed the other night talking to my husband about the enormity of helping others and how good it makes me feel.

Then it hit me.

If my blog helps even ONE person make a change in their life – just ONE PERSON – think of the ripple effect? Think of how many others it will effect in their life? That makes me feel so good – and that’s what it’s all about, my friend.

The whole point of this post is to remind you that there will be haters out there that will second guess why you are doing this. There will people that will disagree with everything you say or do. There will be people that just don’t get it. There will be people trying to tell you the “right way” to do something.

You know what I say?

Do it your way. Fuck the haters.

Tomorrow I celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. I was thinking how marriage is so very similar to being on a weight loss journey. Those of you that are married or have been in long term relationships may relate to these comparisons.

There has to be some mutual love and respect between you and your partner (in weight loss your partner is your “body”).


You have to be willing to make some sacrifices and concede at times.


You’re not always going to be right 100% of the time, and you won’t always win the argument.  Who cares about winning arguments anyway?


There’s a lot of joy to be had if you stop and smell the roses – I mean REALLY stop.


Sometimes you just have to open your eyes and be willing to receive and be aware.


Often, the hardest or most difficult part of the journey is the most rewarding when looking back.

I still think back on our early years together as a newlywed couple. We were so poor and things were tough. But we were HAPPY. Maybe it was the newness of it all, or maybe it was because everything was SIMPLE. I suppose it seemed the world was our oyster. It was for the taking. When you are young and in love anything seems possible. Just like with weight loss – when you are first starting out and seeing some results, you think you have it all figured out. Know what I mean?

I’m going to be unplugged from technology for a few days. John and I are going to do some sightseeing and some camping. I love to camp but I’m not all about “roughing it”. I mean a girl’s gotta shower, right? We usually go every year to the same place. This year it will be without the kids but WITH the bicycles.

Here’s where we’re staying.

We’re also going to get some new tattoos. We thought it would be kind of fun this year to forgo the materialistic gifts and just get some nice art that lasts a lifetime. I’ve never been much of a jewelry kind of gal anyway. Maybe I’ll have some pictures to show after the weekend.

Do you have big plans for the Memorial weekend holiday? Will you be trying to get your exercise in?

When you first thought about starting your blog, did you ever ask yourself “What is the point of blogging?”

I wondered that too. But then it evolved into much more than that.

Lately I’ve been wondering what my purpose is. You know – just what can I do while I’m HERE to make a difference? Also, what can I do to HELP others? That’s what it’s all about, right?

Yes, I enjoy my day job at my web design business and helping others with their projects, but I’ve found over the years that there’s just something MISSING.

I think I know what it is. That true feeling of JOY that you receive when you actually HELP someone change their life. I suppose you could say that my making a website for a client could possibly change their life in many ways, but I’m talking on a different or larger scale.

The blog all started by me wanting to help ME. Pretty selfish, huh? It’s focus is still partly that of course, but it’s slowly evolved into wanting to help others too.

• Maybe someone else is going through what I am dealing with.
• Maybe if I kick some ass in the gym today and blog about it I will inspire someone else to go to the gym that was afraid to go before.
• Maybe if I blog about how my family is learning to eat clean, whole foods someone else will get the idea to do it for the family too.
• The maybe’s could go on and on…

Is this all a silly notion? Maybe. Maybe not. My hope is to help myself by helping others. Why? It just feels good. It makes me feel like I have a PURPOSE.

Do you remember that movie Titanic with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet? I always liked the part where they talk about MAKING IT COUNT:

“…I figure life’s a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it. You don’t know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you… to make each day count.”

Have you thought about why you blog and what purpose it serves? Do you like helping others? Will you make today COUNT in some way?

Hey, will you be watching this show?

One Nation, Overweight
Premieres Tuesday, May 18 at 10p ET/PT on CNBC
The numbers are devastating: $147 billion a year. Over 200 million Americans, including a third of our children are at risk. Obesity is our largest public health crisis. Go inside the race to beat obesity, where the waistline meets the bottom line.