Losing weight and getting fit has become so much more to me – MORE than just LOSING WEIGHT. I’ve blogged about all of the cool things I’ve learned on this journey a bunch and today I’m finally ready to blog some more about a very cool experience – my past life as an indian.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Back in January I blogged Reliving past pain and it’s connection with overeating. This was really part one in a two part series – here’s part two.

I’d classify myself as a highly spiritual individual. I started off being raised Baptist and when I got married ten years ago I started frequenting an Episcopal church that my husband and his family has attended for years. I always felt like organized religion never really did much for me. Just raised a lot of questions and gave little answers.

I’m an avid reader and lover of books, so a few years ago I started on my spiritual journey, devouring any reading material I could; mostly on metaphysical topics, including past lives, life between lives and The Bible.

What I found out was quite simple. You get what you put into it. The love you give comes back to you. The way you treat others will come back to you too. Now you know why I have the karma tattoo on my left forearm. It took me 30 years to learn the lessons of karma.

During my quest for spiritual knowledge, I decided to attempt a past life regression. Why? I wanted to experience hypnosis for myself. See if past lives were real. So I did it.

I contacted a local psychologist that had background and expertise in past life regressions. We met up and talked a lot about my weight gain throughout the years and how unhappy it made me. How come I was so big? I had many appointments with my doctor before my regression and I learned a lot about myself during those appointments.

On the day of my regression I was nervous. I wondered if I would be able to be hypnotized. I knew it wouldn’t be like The Maury Povich show – you know where people act like monkeys and fools in a twisted take of hypnosis. I had read too much on the subject to know that form of “hypnosis” was more like a circus show.

My doctor and I decided to focus the regression on why I overate and struggled with my weight, and determine if it was related to an incident that occurred during a past life.

I laid on the couch in the doctor’s study, closing my eyes and breathing slowly. She slowly counted, giving me instructions. I visualized I was walking down white carpeted stairs. This went on for quite some time until I finally came out of a huge water drainage pipe as the young four year old girl I used to be. You can read more about my childhood regression under part one.

After my childhood regression, my doctor walked me back further into time in my mind. At first I had a tough time and had to relax and calm myself down. I was emotionally wrought after my childhood regression, tears streaming my face.

After listening to my doctor’s calming voice and instructions, I finally relaxed enough to continue. At first I couldn’t come through the fog, I told my doctor. She encouraged me to continue trying. I then found myself surrounded by smoke – not fog – and mass hysteria.

In my mind, I was experiencing something that was similar to watching a movie, but more like reliving a memory or partaking in a dream, but much clearer and REAL. There was and is no doubt in my being that it was real and happened to me.

My doctor simply asked questions as I easily explained the answers, almost magically. I didn’t question anything that I was seeing in my mind. If I were to turn on the logical part of my brain I’m not sure I would have been able to understand what was happening or what I was FEELING.

I was among an Indian tribe that was being attacked by soldiers. My family was running for their lives. Soldiers were attacking us. War, mass hysteria and fires were everywhere. I was a young female Indian, just 19 years old and barefoot. I ran as fast as I could – over painful branches and forest debris through the woods. I ran and ran, tears streaming down my face, as cuts and blood covered my feet, until I had no idea where I was. I must have ran miles and miles as there was no one was near me and I could hear none of the chaos from the soldiers attacking our village.

Days and days went by as I walked, stumbling through the woods. I finally came upon a small village. Starving, thirsty and near death, I had no choice but to beg for food in the all-white village. I had no prospects or way to feed myself. The men in our tribe had always provided for me.

As I walked towards the village, I realized I could not understand the language of the voices that were yelling at me. Children started to throw rocks at me as I walked. I tried to communicate with my hands that I was in desperate need of nourishment. The hatred I felt directed at me in that moment, that life, makes me incredibly sad as I think about it right now.

As I lay on my doctor’s couch I was crying so heavily that she had to calm me down and reiterate to me that everything was okay and these children could not hurt me.

You see, when you are experiencing a past life regression, you are completely caught up in what is happening in your mind. At the same time, you are fully aware of who you are in this life. You know you are experiencing a past life regression; it’s just painfully real and it’s hard not to react to what you are feeling and seeing. You are fully cognizant of your situation. It’s a wonderful feeling that I cannot fully describe nor give justice to.

The next scene I experienced, I was laying in the woods, in and out of consciousness, outside of a small cabin higher up in the mountains away from the white man’s village. I was so hungry I was trying to eat twigs and leaves, shoving them in my mouth. I was delusional and very near death.

I must have passed out, because the next thing I remembered when I came to was a grizzly looking white man carrying me into his cabin. This man was much older than me, but there was something very familiar to him. In his eyes I could see that I knew him. It was then that the realization hit me that this man was my husband in my current life.

My doctor walked me through much of this life. There was the birth of our only child, a son (we named him Josiah); then eventually my husband’s death. That was a horribly heart wrenching experience – much worse than the near starvation. He was laid out on our kitchen table so we could say our last goodbyes. There of course was much, much more to this than I’ve shared with you.

The funny thing is, I’ve never been intrigued by Indian artifacts, movies or books. I am thoroughly not interested in anything Indian. Books about Native American history bore me to tears. Even now, after the experience I had, I’m just not interested.

Did the past life regression magically cure my obesity? No.

Did learning the fact I was a starving Indian account for how I’ve abused my body with food in this lifetime? Hell no.

HOWEVER, the past life regression that I had changed my life forever.

The knowledge that I gained ended up being much more than simply knowing that I was a starving Indian in another life. I realized that this life is not the end of the road for me CONCLUSIVELY. I experienced hate and racial prejudice at the hands of children. I’ve also learned first hand that war is a horrible, horrible thing.

But most of all, I learned that the bond I have with my husband in this life has transcended through time.

Ten years of marriage next month. Only a small slice of
experiences – spanning many lifetimes.

Through all of the weight gains and losses, he’s supported me. He’s never once called me a fat ass, even though I’ve called myself that. He’s never hinted that I needed to lose weight or been embarrassed to be with me because of my size. In the ten years that we’ve been married, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs. Periods of being more friends than lovers, and times where we were more lovers than friends. Through all the ups and downs of birthing babies, working, stress, and more, he’s been my biggest fan.

He’s always loved me for who I am. Although I’m not that starving Indian I once was many moons and lifetimes ago, he loves me for me and I am truly thankful for that.

You may be asking yourself why I’m telling you about my past life regression since it didn’t magically cure my obesity.

The reason is simple.

There is no magic pill that will cure your obesity or assist you in losing the weight and keeping it off. Losing weight is a choice – and a state of mind.

Most successful people that get the weight off -  and keep it off – have a strong supporting cast and love for themselves and others, as I do. I hope that for you too.

Not a lot of people know this about me, but for the longest time I’ve wanted to be one of those UFC fighters or really learn MMA (Mixed Martial Arts). It’s just one of those dreams I have – or fantasies where I can *almost* imagine myself doing it.

I’ve often day dreamed about it, but it’s been awhile since I’ve thought much on the subject until one of my good friends from high school days emailed me today.

I graduated with my friend Kelly back in 1996. Back in our high school days, she was dating her future husband and we used to hang around him and one of his good friends, Joe, who is now a MMA fighter.

Kelly and I live a state apart, but we’ve managed to stay in contact. I completely cracked up reading an email I got from Kelly today, in which she’s referring to a conversation she had with Joe:

“I was telling him how you have been busting ass and working out and I was so proud of you and you were my encouragement to do it myself. I had told him about how you said you wished there was somewhere up there to train for MMA and he said you may look into online classes – they do them but they are hard to find.

I told him how you had said something about wanting to fight one day and he just lit up like a Christmas tree and said he wished he was closer to you he would train you. Then he came up the stairs a few hours later with some black gloves on (LMAO) he was doing his thing he used to do with his fingers when he had his gloves on and smiled real big and said, “If she ever fights, I am going and I am showing up with my black gloves on!”

I so wish I still lived down in Indiana near them so I could train with Joe “Hoodzilla” Alexander! Seriously. Of course I’d want to be in really good shape before I started training, BUT STILL - what a cool opportunity!!! Call me crazy or delusional if you may.

Here’s two videos of  our friend Joe “Hoodzilla” Alexander.

Now that I’m getting this weight off for good, some of my dreams don’t seem all that crazy. (Okay, maybe they do?)

Do you have any dreams that may seem crazy or far fetched? I can’t be alone!