Posted by Bobbie | Posted in Emotional Eating, Relatives | Posted on Wed July 28, 2010
There once was an addict that I knew. He was an alcoholic that had to drink at least a case of beer a day to function. He was conspicuously missing from most of my childhood, but would reappear at random times for no apparent reason. He was very charming and had the the type of personality that almost hypnotized you into liking him despite all of his many faults. He could tell some fantastic tails of bar room brawls and cross country travels, and while doing so make you believe every single word.
That addict is my father.
There once was an addict that I knew. She was a food addict that had to eat to maintain her feelings and to prevent herself from feeling any emotions in life. She was mysteriously missing from most of her childhood, but would reappear at random times when necessary. She was very sweet and outgoing, but her personality was inhibited by her food addiction, which lead to a dislike of herself. To keep herself numb and from experiencing life, she would also live vicariously through intriguing novels, which assisted her in never really having to get to know anyone in real life.
That addict is me.
For the first time in many, many months, last week I spoke to my father on the phone. He sounded different. At first I couldn’t place what the difference was. Then it hit me. He was sober!
I asked him, “Hey dad, how are you doing? You sound good.”
He said, “I’m doing real good. I stopped drinking the first of the year.”
At first I didn’t know how to respond to this. He had stopped drinking from time to time in the past and it had never lasted long. This time he was going on 7 months. That was miraculous in itself.
I said, “Dad, I’m so proud of you.”
There was no awkwardness or strange feelings tied to my response. I was and am truly happy for him. There was no regret in my tone, no ill-wishing towards him in my head, even though I probably am justified in both.
I realized how we are a lot alike in our respective addictions. Even though I am not an alcoholic and REFUSE to become one, I am a food addict. No matter how well I document my foods or portion sizes or how well I eat, I will deep down always be a food addict. I am probably a food addict primarily because of the choices my father made during my childhood.
There are many differences as well. I like to think that the differences between us are what makes my personal world turn. In each turn, I am given new life lessons that I can learn and grow from.
I no longer let the addictions of others dictate my life or my own personal dependencies.
I no longer blame the ghosts of the past for how I react or feed myself.
Do you know an addict? Are you one?
Wed July 28, 2010 at 4:41 PM
yep, i’m one.
no idea why i’m addicted to junk foods.
sucks.
Allison´s last blog ..Fat burning foods
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 4:51 PM
I am glad you can be happy for him, if not at total peace. I wish him well, and hope he can stay ahead of it.
I have known and loved many addicts, and I have hated all of them as well — at at times anyway, and that is what an addict gets because that is what an addict offers; conflicting behaviors.
Bobbie, I absolutely believe and your ability to overcome food and make it your bitch. The journey continues…
Emergefit´s last blog ..Black or White- My Way Or Yahweh- Fitly Or Fatly…
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 5:04 PM
You have written about this so beautifully. I have no idea if I am actually a food “addict” or not. Hmm.
Karen @ WaistingTime´s last blog ..A Novel Approach to Dieting
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 6:58 PM
In the past I would have said no, I am not a food addict, because I don’t binge in the stereotypical way. But …. I have relied on food to shield myself from so many things. Is that addiction? A compulsive, habitual misuse of a substance? Well, now I would say yes.
Cathy´s last blog ..Back on the Horse
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 7:43 PM
Bobbie this is a very powerful post. It shows incredible strength and understanding to see how one addiction can add to the creation of another. Congrats to you for being able to recognize your addiction and move so fiercely to change it. And to your father too for working to change his.
I don’t know what my addictions are, but I definitely have had a unhealthy relationship with food and I’m working my damnedest to change it.
Meegan´s last blog ..Note to Self- Garbage In Garbage Out
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 9:00 PM
What a powerful post. You are doing amazing things!
I might consider myself a food addict. I definitely turn to it in times of stress and allow myself to make poor choices about food. I can only work on developing a healthy relationship with food and learn to make better decisions.
Kate @ Twenty-Six To Life´s last blog ..Operation Bootylicious- Weigh In Three
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 9:56 PM
I appreciate your honesty in sharing your story. I had someone close in my life who was an alcoholic and so I have made certain I did not become one. However I have abused food in the same way the alcoholic uses it to numb themselves and to pull away from feelings.
I don’t know if I am a food addict but I know I have had issues with food!
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 10:22 PM
…raises his hand…hello…I’m a food addict…(the group says Hello Kyle!)
I don’t know though where it came from, if anywhere…no known family history.
Kyle´s last blog ..Because its there
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 10:56 PM
That’s so great that you’re no longer allowing someone’s actions or addictions effect your life!
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 11:10 PM
Hello, my name is Michelle and I’m a food addict too. At an early age I learned to stuff myself with food to keep from saying the things I really want to say to my family and all the people that have abused or hurt me but by doing that I’ve just been hurting myself. It’s about time we stand up and take care of ourselves.
MB´s last blog ..Late Update
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Wed July 28, 2010 at 11:22 PM
Great Post Bobbie! We have a LOT in common! That is one of the saddest things about addiction…It affects minimum 5 to 6 others with each addiction!
Jules – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..What if I stopped the What if’s
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Thu July 29, 2010 at 5:09 AM
Alcoholism is prevalent in my family and I briefly struggled with it myself. Instead, I am a food addict. Like you. Like so many others. It’s a constant battle.
I’m glad to hear your dad is sober. That’s fantastic!
Maggie @ Looking For My Feet´s last blog ..A couple quick things
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Thu July 29, 2010 at 8:24 AM
Bobbie, thx for sharing! I hope thebest for your Dad & I can see you are grabbing hold of your own addiction & strangling it to death! Yes, it is there but you are fighting it big time!
Yes, there was/is alcohol addiction on my hubby’s side.. a couple family members. Luckily he was the sane force in the family! BUT, it is tough touhg stuff… and they still can’t break the alcohol addiction along with smoking & my hubby’s mom died from that.
Me, I never considered myself a food addict.. maybe a sweets addict! ;-)
Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..The Unattainable is Attainable- Unreachable IS Reachable!
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Thu July 29, 2010 at 3:24 PM
That was beautiful, Bobbie! No matter what your relationship was with your father, perhaps now it can be a more fulfilling one for both of you. I’m hoping that it will be.
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Thu July 29, 2010 at 5:17 PM
Very powerful post! I recently realized I’m a food addict- I have some major issues with how I react to the world around me and how I deal with food. I never thought it was an addiction… until my husband went into rehab for a pain pill addiction. While I was learning about his addiction I kept finding myself thinking ‘oh my gosh, I do that – except with food.’ That’s when I started my blog. I’m glad I found your blog – I’ll be back!
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Sat July 31, 2010 at 8:37 AM
Addiction runs in my family. My mother was an alcoholic and didn’t survive. My brother John was drug addict and didn’t survive. My brother Kerry is an alcoholic and is traveling down the same path as my mother and older brother.
I too am am addict.
Drug addict.
Video game addict.
Addict to self destruction.
The difference is I’m learning to survive despite my addictions. I used to be a pretty heavy Meth head (and by used to I mean 20 years ago) but every day I remember it only takes that one decision to change everything. I’ll never use again but my brain is wired as an addict. To become complacent and forget where I came from is just a one way ticket to going back.
It would be easy to blame my life on my mother.
Instead I figure out what tools she didn’t have to be successful in her own life and I continually hunt for the tools that will make me successful in mine.
Tara´s last blog ..The case of the missing Mojo!!!
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