Today I wanted to talk about revealing your weight to others – on blogs, in person, in public, etc. I think this is a very important topic.

As a woman in our society, there’s this feeling that if you get over the 200 lb mark, you are a big fat whale or swamp creature.

There’s this need to keep your true weight number under wraps and not share it with anyone. I have no idea why this is the case, but it’s the way I’ve always felt. It’s almost like 200 lbs or more for a woman is the end of the world. There’s a level of shame involved at that point. Maybe it’s self imposed. Maybe it’s not. Either way, I hate it and I think it sucks ass.

Let me tell you a story. Like the majority of you, I’m an emotional eater due to a lot of circumstances arising from my shitty childhood that were beyond my control. I was abandoned by my father at an early age and my older brother by six years was/is a bully that used to beat the crap out of me nearly every day that he could. I really had life stacked up against me. I used to cry nearly every single day as a child because I was so sad. In fact, I don’t remember much from my childhood. I guess I blocked a lot of it out because it really sucked.

Fast forward to Christmas of 2006. My deadbeat dad decided he wanted to suddenly be a part of my life after being absent many, many years. He had never even met my husband or my children, and I had been with John for at least seven years at that point. And of course my bully brother had to join in on the festivities too. The two of them are a magnificent team of deadbeat-bullies, and it was a holiday week that wasn’t so merry for me.

It’s funny because bully is a fat ass too. I hate this picture.
It’s so unflattering in so many ways. First, my weight.
Second, my family. We were never a real family. It’s all a put on
for the camera. I don’t even know these people.

I was so stressed out from the impending doom (and their arrival), I gained 10 lbs the week leading up to the holiday. You can see how puffy I was in the picture above. I was huge. I don’t remember the exact number on the scale, but I had to of been close to 265. I looked 300 due to the camera angle and puffiness. I hate that picture so much.

While deadbeat and bully where sitting at the table awaiting to be served Christmas dinner, I overheard them discussing my weight. Deadbeat said, “Yea, I think she’s close to 260-262.” Bully chimed in, “Nah, I’d go for 270.” Leave it to my brother to over-estimate. Typical. Of course, I was the only one who seemed to hear the humiliating discussion about my obesity. I was crushed. What kind of jacked up family does this?!? Why didn’t I stand up for myself and say something, anything?

The truth was, they were pretty close in their guesses. And I actually thought I looked slim in my jeans! What did I do after hearing this? Piled on the extra potatoes and stuffing. Such assholes. But it’s in the past, and I’ve owned it and it’s over with. It doesn’t make me who I am anymore. It does NOT define me. It defines the type of people those two are.

Which gets me back to the main topic. Why, as a woman in our society, are we so afraid to admit what our true weight is? We lie on our drivers licenses, we lie to our doctors (until they weigh us), we lie on the gym machines that ask for our weight, we lie, lie, lie. The truth of the matter is, most of us look what we weigh. If we weigh over 200 lbs, we look it. There’s no hiding it. It’s obvious. You’re not hiding a big secret. Everyone is in on it, trust me – people just like deadbeat and bully (in my case).

When I started this weight loss journey back in November, I bounced back and forth on whether I should share my true stats on my blog. What if one of my clients reads it? What if one of my friends knows my true number? And jenkies, what if someone from high school knows I’m carrying around a 100 lb mule around my waist and a few bowling balls on my ass?

In getting past my own Fat Denial Syndrome, I decided that I needed to put it out there. Yes, I’m a fat ass. Yes, I weigh over 250 lbs. It’s therapeutic. It’s the truth. And guess what? I’ll never be this weight. EVER. AGAIN. IN. MY. LIFE.

So I urge you – don’t be afraid to share your true weight on your blog. Own up to it, and get out of fat denial. It just may help you get the weight off.

(In case you are wondering, no, I don’t cry anymore, and haven’t for many, many years. In fact I think there is something wrong with me in that regard. LOL

I don’t let the opinions of others form how I feel about myself anymore – when I can help it. I’m a happy and positive person now.)

If you are new to my blog, I urge you to read these posts where I talk a little bit about this subject:

• Sharing your blog and weight loss journey with people in your life
• What if my clients see me working out at the gym? Do they know I’m a fat ass?

Recent Posts:

• Nothing defines me but ME
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