(If you haven’t done so already, please post your ideas to eradicate obesity and you may win a free FITNESS WARRIOR gym towel. I’ll announce three winners mid-week.)

One of my favorite topics to discuss is working out at the gym. It’s to the point now where family member’s eyes glaze over; I get “the stare” and people change subjects on me. That’s okay. I get it. It’s kind of like when you first have a child and all you talk about 24-7 is what little Billy is doing and your child-less friends are bored to snores.

Every time I learn a new exercise or accomplish a new best for myself, I feel so good. When the sweat is dripping off of the tip of my nose and splatters, the sound of it hitting the floor echos in my ears. My heart races just thinking about how I’m going to demolish the next exercise or task in front of me.

It all sounds really corny and cliche. Maybe a little unbelievable if you consider that I’ve still got a good 70 lbs I’d like to lose and the fact my first introduction into the gym wasn’t a smash success. Go figure…

I won’t bore you to tears with all of my gym struggles and tribulations when I was first introduced to the gym last November. You can read through my archives if you are interested. (Be forewarned, there is a lot of whining contained within.)

The core of my love for working out in the gym goes way beyond those accomplishments though. Among all of the sweat, the frustration, the initial nervousness – I’ve truly found myself.

I drudged through some of my “before” pictures today and my mouth hung open for so long it got dry. Here I sit before you, once again, exposed. When I took the before pictures, I made sure that I didn’t suck in an inch. I didn’t smile. I had actually just finished one of my first training sessions with my personal trainer and I knew I looked my worst – a sweaty pile of blubber.

There was to be no sugar coating in the pictures. I didn’t want to convey that it was happy times because it was not. I was miserable and lost inside a mass of fat – all by my own creation.

I didn’t know who I was anymore. The weight defined me.

Now, nothing defines me but ME. That’s just one of the many gems I’ve learned from my time in the gym.

I have mixed feelings when I look at these pictures. I am sad for the person I once was on the left. Today’s me (on the right) is only just beginning, only just discovering how good it feels to be defined by more than just my weight. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to smile and so hard not to?

I am very critical of my stomach. I hate it more than anything. But then I look to the left and see how far I’ve come. I couldn’t even see my belly button in the top picture. Amazing. Even though the skin and fat is still holding strong around my middle, I can feel the muscles forming beneath.

I’m thrilled for the new me that is emerging from the layers and layers of fat. I’m ecstatic that I’ve found muscles and an inner strength that I thought only fictitious people could discover. I’m content that I’ve found so much in the gym.

I’m thankful that the gym doesn’t intimidate me and I can go in there and kick my own ass. I’m grateful for everyone that I’ve met on this journey. I’m just living a very happy moment right now, even though I’m very aware I’m nowhere near my destination.

Maybe it’s because I know anything is possible, even for the obese like me.

It will take time.

It’s guaranteed to take determination and hard work.

It’s the promise of a new tomorrow, an unexpected journey.

It’s a road I’m willing to take.

Recently, I switched back to an iPhone from my Blackberry. There are many pluses and minuses between the two phone platforms which I won’t get into here, but one thing that stands out is iPhone’s ability for custom third party applications.

There are lots of free and pay for applications. Like most things in life, you usually get what you pay for in the App Store, especially if you compare reviews for the application you are interested in.

There are two applications I want to discuss today. (For the record, I am only endorsing these apps because I use them – I am not getting paid for plugging them. Just purely love them and want to share how much and why.)

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Livestrong.com’s Calorie Tracker App – $2.99
1103+ Ratings, 4 star average | Website
What it is: Calorie tracker, diet and fitness tracker. You can track calories, weight, foods and fitness calories burned. I use it every day!

I love this app. After coming from using the FitDay PC program on my computer, this is a huge step up. For one, there is a huge database of food items, thousands and thousands – and I very rarely have to enter in custom foods, unlike the FitDay PC program where I was ALWAYS entering in custom foods that was very time consuming.

Also, the Livestrong.com app syncs up to your device so that you can also use a web based version. Awesome! So if you are at work and only have the web on your work computer, you an login, track your foods and then later when you have your iPhone you can sync and see all of the same foods. (Blackberry users: It does appear they have an app for your Blackberry too.)

PumpOne.com’s FitnessBuilder App – $9.99 + Subscription if you opt to have more features
384+ Ratings, 4.5 star average | Website
What it is: FitnessBuilder is the most comprehensive fitness database in the world. It contains the largest library of exercise images & videos, the most challenging workouts across all disciplines, access to a live personal trainer and a complete set of every fitness tool, calculator and tracking feature available.

I am a tight wad. Seriously. Add to the fact that money is tight – spending the $9.99 on this app was difficult for me, but I’ve gotten to the point in the gym where I’m feeling stale and need some new ideas. After reading through pages and pages of awesome reviews, I thought what the hell. So I did it. Then the next day I purchased the additional $34.99 year subscription which adds on hundreds of more exercises and allows you to email a PDF of your workouts to yourself and others to share. Get this – the PDF actually has links to videos showing how the exercise is preformed. Awesomeness.

There are hundreds of different workouts that are already created for you. You also have the option of creating your own workouts using the exercises in the library. I love the free weights at the gym – that is my favorite thing to work with, so the first thing I did was create my own free weights exercises. Then I emailed the workout to myself. See my FitBuilder custom workout example.

The exercise library shows you images and details on how to perform the exercise, plus allows you to view a short video of someone performing the exercise. I also like the fact that the exercise names are clearly shown. (I’m such an idiot with regards to exercise names!)

Have you tried either of these apps or do you have favorites of your own?

I caught a re-run of Oprah today that featured folks that have lost some massive weight – in particular The Woman who Lost 530 Pounds. It was very inspiring to say the least.

One of the things that really perked my ears was that Oprah mentioned she doesn’t like exercise – at all. She made that comment quite a few times to trainer Bob Greene during the show.

It got me thinking. Because I could certainly relate to her feelings on exercise.

I used to HATE “exercise”. I never did any unless I absolutely had to. You know, walk around Disney World, ride bikes with the kids (if they insisted), but no real attempt at exercise. I was a lazy ass. You get the idea.

It = Exercise…

• I didn’t get “it”!
• What was the point of “it”?
• Why did I need “it” in my life?
• “It” was HARD to do.
• “It” made me SWEAT.

Last year when I had the opportunity to workout with a personal trainer, I decided to try it. If you know me, I will try anything once – mainly because I am a rotten, degenerate gambler when confronted with a challenge. And that’s precisely what my then soon-to-be trainer confronted me with. He challenged me to change my life.

And I’m thankful every single day that I was given that challenge.

The first month or two of working out with Dean, I hated it. Okay, the first month I REALLY hated it, but as the months wore on I really started to like how exercise made me feel. Keep in mind I RARELY missed an exercise session. Most weeks I was working out 6 & 7 days a week.

I learned a lot about myself & the gym during those months…

• I learned what I do and do not like.
• I learned I am one strong girl.
• I learned that my body WANTS exercise.
• I learned that lifting weights empowers me as a woman.

Migrating through working out with Dean, a workout partner, workout groups and then changing gyms all together and working out on my own has shown me that fitness is ingrained into my being – and I’m better for it.

If you are sitting there reading this and wondering how you can get from point A (hating exercise) to point B (loving exercise) I really do not have a definitive answer for you. I can only tell you about my situation and hope that it helps you in some way.

Where I’m at now…

• I’m at the gym six days a week for 60 to 90 minutes a session.
• I rarely miss a gym workout but when I do, I’m still hitting the gym 4-5 times a week at the very least and on most of those missed days I’m hitting it hard at home.
• I usually ride my bike to the gym, to the office, to the post office, etc.
• I often go for a little jog outside a few times a week.

Hiring a personal trainer…
I’d never trade my initial exercise time with Dean for anything in the world! If you are new at exercising and can swing it, I would recommend working out with a good personal trainer. You can learn so much about the movements, exercises, equipment and reps that you just cannot put a price on.

I also advocate working out on your own too – which has some great benefits.

One of the wonderful things about working out on your own is the freedom of choice to do the exercises that you really love – and doing things your way. You all know I’m all about doing things MY WAY when it’s on my time… (Queue in the Frank Sinatra song, which is a classic.)

In working out on my own, I found what I DO like, and I have also discovered what I do NOT like.

• I do not like stagnant.
• I do not like stale or boring.
• I also do not like doing the same stuff over and over again.
• Particularly, I’ve found I do not like doing cardio and weights on separate days.
• I also do not like working out ONLY one body part (upper body vs. lower body) in a session like I used to when I worked out with a trainer previously.

Is there a rule that says you cannot do cardio the same day you do weights? Is there a rule against working multiple body parts? I’m not sure, but again, I like to push things a bit and I am at a point where I know what my physical limitations are and I stay within them – but I do try to challenge myself as much as possible!

What I do…
I try to do my best to focus on one region during the majority of my daily workout, BUT I also add in a few things to work the other regions, and always a little cardio.

For example…
If it’s an arms and shoulders day, I’ll add in a few sets of lunges and some stomach too, even though the majority of my exercises are focused on upper body for that workout.

Then I’ll go hop on the treadmill and run a mile as fast as I can (I’m at 9 min 13 sec… trying hard to break that barrier!). Then I’ll go back to the weights and lift some more. This keeps my mind stimulated and prevents me from getting bored easily. Getting in that brief run in between my weights helps keep my head clear and the sweat flowing – which to me equals a fantastic workout.

Try some new things every so often…
Don’t let the gym environment scare you or make you nervous. Don’t let the gym equipment or patrons intimidate you. I know some gals that do not like working out near the weights because it’s mostly male dominated. I’ve found the guys actually think it’s cool when gals come over and pump some iron. If you do not know how to use something, just ask!

Be careful of overhead bars…
Just last week, I was in the gym mentally patting myself on the back for pushing through a really tough set when I nailed the top of my head on an overhead bar. It was pretty bad. I actually saw stars for a few seconds and an older guy next to me gave this huge look of concern and asked if I was okay. I felt like such a moron! But you know what I did? I put all of that frustration into my next set. I worked it so hard the rest of the day I forgot that I hit my head until I took a shower and felt the goose egg while washing my hair.

How do you feel about exercise? Love it or hate it?

We want quick and convenient. We want it now! We prefer value and quantity. In general, we are a lazy and impatient nation.

As an obese nation, we choose motorized scooters because we are too fucking lazy to walk. Have you ever looked in the baskets of those scooters? Most of the time I’m sure you’ll find pork rinds, insulin prescriptions and Cambridge Lights.

We try a few quick fix diets and see results for only a short period of time and we give up. “It just doesn’t work!” we scream. We opt for quick relief and that includes weight loss surgery and diet pills.

We don’t have time to cook a “real” dinner, so we choose drive-thru garbage like McDonald’s and Burger King to poison our bodies and our children.

We whine and complain that our lives are miserable because we are fat and obese… YET, we do not do anything about it. Instead we sit on the couch or recliner all day long, stuffing Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies in our mouths and cursing our life.

It’s just so fucking unfair. We have a list of reasons that prevent us from taking sustainable action.

• My genetics are whack. It’s the family curse.
• I can’t afford a gym membership.
• I’ll look like a jack ass when or if I walk or attempt to jog along side the road.
• People will laugh at me.
• It’s too expensive to buy fresh foods and they take too long to cook!
• I’ll fail once again. I’m a LOSER and I’m not worth it.
• My spouse doesn’t support me.
• I can’t eat healthy – I have to cook for my children!
• I have bad knees and there’s no way I can workout.
• It’s almost [ Valentine's Day, Easter, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. ] and it would be too hard to commit.
• I’ll start TOMORROW… No, the day after that… Wait! The day after that…
• I have thyroid problems. So does Oprah! So it’s a real issue!
• I’ve tried so many times and failed before. Why would this time be different?
• I’ll just resign myself to being a fat ass for the rest of my life.

It’s just so fucking unfair.

Stop with the excuses.

Put an end to this never ending cycle of bullshit. You do not need weight loss surgery or diet pills. You do not need designer foods or a gym membership. You know what you have to do to get healthy and get the weight off. It’s not rocket science. Shut the voice up in your head that feeds this shit to you.

I’ve personally told all of the above excuses to myself at one time or another through the years and they were all bullshit. Deep down I knew this. I do not tell myself this crap anymore.

NOW I tell myself things like this:

• I CAN do another set.
• No one wants this as much as I do.
• I refuse to lay down and die due to this monster they call obesity.
• I am a good person and I deserve this.
• My body wants me to treat it like a temple, so I WILL.
• I have patience. I have determination. I have the knowledge to succeed.
• If I work hard enough, I will achieve everything I want and more.
• I will be a role model to anyone that is afraid to go to the gym due to their weight.
• I will treat others as I wish to be treated.
• The way others act or treat me have no affect on my progress or my mission.
• My body is a soldier. It does as I order it to.

You can be a soldier too. You just have to WANT IT and DO IT.

TODAY IS YOUR DAY – if you don’t allow it to pass you by.

I walk into the gym where all the tourists go.

They all look so cute and done up as if they have just showered and applied makeup.

I am focused.

I am sullen.

I can be my own worse enemy.

Today I show myself who’s really a bad ass.

I arrogantly walk past the weight lifting machines. I don’t have much use for them anymore.

I survey the gym.

A few female gym goers are far away from the action of the free weights.

They are the ones that always flimsily seem to lift the 3 lb and 5 lb hand weights off to the side.

The free weights area is almost always dominated by males.

I’m here to change that.

I like to be in the middle of the action. I am no fucking wall flower.

My heart accelerates as I scope the weights.

What exercise shall I select today? The day after all, is a fresh slate.

I plug in my iPod and start up the hardest, raunchiest music I have. Usually it’s Eminem or Godsmack.

[wpaudio url="http://www.anonymousfatgirl.com/music/collapse.mp3" text="Eminem - Till I Collapse" dl="0"]

Magically, the rest of the gym goers sparkle and disappear into thin air as if vaporized.

I like it when that happens.

The gym is mine and mine alone.

The clock on the wall stares at me, waiting for me to respond.

The mirror, who used to be my enemy, is now my friend.

The sweat pours off of me in buckets.

I smile.

The world is mine for the taking.

Till I collapse.

P.S. The winners of yesterday’s Blender Bottle give away by America’s Nutrition are:

Jody from Fit at 52
Vicki Voisin
Annie from Reasons to Lose

Ladies, email me your shipping address to afg@anonymousfatgirl.com and I’ll get your Blender Bottle out right away!