Focusing on a number that appears on the scale is fool-hearted at best. It’s like playing Russian Roulette or fiddling around with a magic 8-ball. I’m not obsessing over the number on the scale. I take my measurements monthly. I can feel how my clothes fit. I know what performance I am outputting in the gym. I can measure my success in many of those ways.

I will post my weight loss numbers periodically when I feel like getting on the scale, but what I refuse to do is allow that piece of shit to dictate how I feel for any given moment, hour, day or week.

I can honestly say that if I stepped on the scale RIGHT NOW and seen a number I did not like, it would not affect my mood or attitude for the moment or day. That is the truth. It wasn’t always like that, but slowly I changed my attitude and behavior and decided that it will NOT have an affect on me. It’s my choice on what I allow to affect my attitude.

That does not mean I will not weigh in anymore and post my progress on here – I will do that. Probably monthly. I just do not think the constant weighing and scale hopping is an accurate measure or indicator of TRUE success.

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE POUNDS LOST – But rather what you are gaining in terms of mental fortitude, strength, lesson learning and how to live healthy.

So why make it all about the pounds? Why obsess about it? The pounds will fall off if you are doing it right. It’s inevitable!

Last I checked on the scale I had lost 30 lbs. Granted it’s been awhile since I last checked, but in that 30 lbs I have made some remarkable progress. Let me take you down memory lane.

Fat in 2006…

Fat in 2007…

Fat in 2008…

Fatter in 2009…

Wait! Still fat in 2009. This is the picture my aunt mailed me after our visit to Indiana. And to think I had lost 7 lbs before the trip. I was still trying to hide behind my son. THAT TRICK NEVER WORKS.

Not so fat in January 2010 (only two months after my lifestyle change)…

Less fat in April…

Me last week enjoying an Oberon (yeah, I do that occasionally)…

Here’s hoping that some positive will spill into your life during your journey – and that you do not allow a hunk of metal to dictate your mood or attitude. Cheers!

Almost five months. It’s such a short time period when I put it in the context of CHANGING MY LIFE for the better.

I’ve consistently, on average, lost 5.6 lbs per month for the last five months.

Today is my weekly weigh in and as I was posting my weight to My Progress page, I realized I’M DOING THIS – and it’s working. I think back to all of my other failed attempts at “losing weight” and “dieting“.

Here I was last summer on our family trip to Dolly Wood
& the Smokey Mountains. Dude… There’s no hiding 270+ lbs,
even if you are playing the “hide behind the toddler” trick.

Now at the Smokey Mountains, but still hiding
(okay, TRYING to hide) behind my daughter.

I’m not really focusing on either “losing weight” or “dieting” right now. I’m focusing on overall health and fitness. Sure, I want to lose weight, but when I started this blog and started working out at the gym and eating differently back in November, my ONLY goal was to lose weight. My oh my how things have changed.

I think of some other people I know – in real life and on blogs – who are losing weight rapidly. My measly 28 lbs lost may seem like a drop in the bucket compared to the 40, 50 or 60 they are losing in relatively little to no time.

My lack of quick progress doesn’t piss me off anymore like it used to and I no longer get frustrated. No, I don’t get jealous or wish the quick losers would fail. I’m just not that kind of person, nor have I ever been. I’m happy for anyone who can do this – change their whole thought system and life, turn it upside down and make new habits.

I still have a long way to go, but I’m no longer hiding
behind the toddler, just standing next to her. Yes, same
shirt as in picture #1. I think 28 lbs is a big difference.
At least I can see it and feel it! My worst view is from the
side, so you know NOTHING is hidden.
(Taken 5 mins. ago.)

In five short months I have gained so much MORE than the 28 lbs I have lost.

• I’ve gained muscles and strength I never knew I could have.
• I’ve gained knowledge in how my body works and responds to the foods I feed it.
• I’ve learned how to be PATIENT with the process and let things happen.
• I’ve learned to truly embrace loving myself again. Not my inner self – I’ve always loved my inner self – but my outer self. I have so much appreciation for what my body can do. It’s truly amazing!

For fun, I’ve take that 5.6 per month loss and estimated were I will be at my one year health anniversary on 11/8/10.

Where will I be? Close to or under 200 lbs. What does that mean? It means I’ll have lost almost 70 lbs in one year – but MOST IMPORTANTLY I should be able to do at least one wide grip pull up at that time. Now THAT is something I cannot wait to do!

Happy… Contemplative… Excited… Proud of Myself

Five months? Shit, I’m almost half way there. Halfway to the HEALTHIEST YEAR I’ve ever had in my adulthood. Halfway to my pull up goal.

Look at your weight loss. Are you getting frustrated? Are you pissed that it’s just not coming off “fast enough”?

What is “fast enough”? Is it how fast your best friend is losing? Has “fast” turned into a QUICK FIX or MAGIC PILL?

Maybe step back and REALLY think about it.

What is your goal? To just get the weight off as fast as you possibly can or to learn something about yourself in the process and do it in a healthy manner?

How about learning how your body works and how good it feels to be fit and healthy?

Earlier while I was catching up on some NCAA basketball games on the tube (I LOVE March!), I was flipping through my DVR guide and seen a show listed on MTV called “True Life” with the subject, “I’m happy to be fat”. Click here to see more info about the show.

It really pissed me off.

I don’t think anyone is “happy being fat”. Of course this is only MY OPINION, but I believe it with every fiber in my being. I believe people that say they are “happy being fat” are lying to themselves and in some serious FAT DENIAL.

Let me tell you why I feel this way.

I look at being fat / obese / severely overweight (in most cases) as an indicator of a much bigger problem or issue. I am talking about those individuals that DO NOT have a medical reason for having weight issues.

“At 476 pounds, Mikey is a happy and successful individual.
Unfortunately, he hasn’t been able to find a guy in Memphis’
gay community to love him for his size.”

Mikey desperately wants to find love and to help this process
along he makes a calender of nude pictures of him.
He then has a fund raiser and features himself. Mikey shows
a lot of  confidence in this episode and really shows that his
weight will not interfere with him being happy.

COME ON Mikey – stop with the bullshit. Are you really a
“happy individual”? Because your body language and
weight is projecting a completely different message.

Think about it. Have you ever known an alcoholic or a chronic abuser of drugs? Don’t you look at that person and feel pity for them that they cannot change their life for the better? I know I do.

My father is an alcoholic and I feel very sorry for him. I feel sorry for him that he pounds a case or more of Busch Light then follows that up with a fifth of Jack Daniels or Yager in one day. When I’ve told him that I feel sorry for him, his response is that I shouldn’t feel sorry for him because he’s perfectly “happy with his life”.

It’s pure denial – and pure bullshit.

My father’s problem is no different than my struggle with obesity or anyone else’s.

When you are happy with your life and the way you look, you DO NOT suffocate your feelings, emotions or day to day existence with food or another drug (like alcohol).

If you are obese and think you are “happy” with being fat then you are living in freaking denial.

If you were HAPPY you wouldn’t treat your body as poorly as you do. You wouldn’t over feed it. You wouldn’t suffocate your emotions or repress your inner feelings with Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies or twinkies.

Maybe you don’t know how to get out of the vicious cycle of overeating. Maybe you don’t know what to do to get the fat off. Fine, that’s fair to admit that.

But don’t lie to yourself (and everyone else) and say you are “HAPPY BEING FAT” because you are NOT.

• New AFG Blog: Scared to go to the gym because you are either obese, overweight or fat? http://goo.gl/fb/p5yY #
• @shedthefatsuit I love Body Fortress Chocolate Peanut Butter – from WalMart. :) in reply to shedthefatsuit #
• I think Mr. Sark (Dave Anders?) from "Alias" is awesome on "24" this season. He's fantastic. #
• RT @shedthefatsuit: @anonfatgirl thanks! –> you're very welcome! :) #
• RT @DrKal: If you truly believe that you can lose weight then you will, if you don't then you won't. Do you believe? #
• @Have2LoseIt4ME That sounds scary. I hope they figure out what's going on. :( in reply to Have2LoseIt4ME #
• New AFG Blog: Thoughts on gastric bypass http://goo.gl/fb/CM7P #
• I can't taste what flavor of whey protein I am drinking – still recovering from being sick. #
• I weight trained last night with Dean. It was tough, had a hard time breathing, but tried as hard as I could. #
• Hit the gym 2nite for some jogging / cardio. Feels good getting back into working out after missing 3-4 days. #
• Gonna film a new Fat ass to gym rat video tomorrow. Haven't done one in a few weeks. #
• Can you imagine the immense leg muscles the speed skaters must have? Amazing. #Olympics #
• awesome! RT @amerrylife: Going offline to do my taxes and then sign up for the gym! YAY! Gym membership!! :) #
• New AFG Blog: Do you have an opinion on exercise shirts? http://goo.gl/fb/aPSW #
• New AFG Blog: Welcome new readers – I’m shooting a video right now http://goo.gl/fb/Gn6N #
• New AFG Blog: Fat ass to gym rat, week 15, video 9 http://goo.gl/fb/C8DG #
• I uploaded a YouTube video — Anonymous Fat Girl: fat ass to gym rat, week 15, video 9 http://youtu.be/IwX9IOhxai4?a #
• Ha ha!!! Yes it's been a few weeks. I'm thinking about bringing my fat a… (YouTube http://youtu.be/IwX9IOhxai4?a) #
• I haven't reached the pullup goal yet. I still need to get more weight o… (YouTube http://youtu.be/IwX9IOhxai4?a) #
• New AFG Blog: You are now entering an EMPOWERMENT zone http://goo.gl/fb/ZGUd #
• New AFG Blog: Three months of changes: Plate twists, push ups & photos http://goo.gl/fb/b7Il #
• I uploaded a YouTube video — Three months of changes: plate twists, push ups & photos http://youtu.be/zOtnhgEl6Zg?a #
• Thx so much! RT @shedthefatsuit: @anonfatgirl that is SO AWESOME! #
• That's ok, u can make up for it! RT @Have2LoseIt4ME: Glad I went to the gym this morning cause I blew it at lunch today!!! #
• I'm making some banana nut muffins today. Yum!! RT @amerrylife: Looking for a banana cake recipe to make. YUM. #
• Love the speed skating. Having a hard time staying awake though. May need to hit the sack. #Olympics #
• Yum!!! RT @ameliawoods: Just finished making a pecan pie! It will be ready in 1 hour. #
• I'm trying hard to be a gym rat just like you! LOL (YouTube http://youtu.be/zOtnhgEl6Zg?a) #
• Thanks so much! I'm so glad I've been videoing and taking pics since the… (YouTube http://youtu.be/zOtnhgEl6Zg?a) #
• Thanks Journey I appreciate it! :) (YouTube http://youtu.be/zOtnhgEl6Zg?a) #
• New AFG Blog: Acknowledging there’s a problem & changing things up http://goo.gl/fb/rOSd #

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• The kids are off to school and thank goodness for that. It was a rough morning in our household! Monday's usually are tho. #
• New AFG blog: Super Bowl pics & do you have any exercise goals this week? http://www.anonymousfatgirl.com/?p=1780 #
• Diagnosis on my car – needs an alternator. $470. It's stuff like this that makes it impossible for me to catch up on my bills. :( #
• @tinyglow well at least it will be running good now – and we'll have a car. I still hate spending that kind of money, it drives me insane. in reply to tinyglow #
• Steel cut oats this a.m. Yum! #
• I made it thru another workday! Taking my birthday off tomorrow. I so deserve it. :) #
• New AFG blog: Caught up in an affair with that bitch Little Debbie http://www.anonymousfatgirl.com/?p=1793 #
• I have to keep reminding myself that just because the kids are having pizza snacks does not mean that I NEED any pizza snacks. #
• Hey Tony Horton – it's time. Time to break loose with the rhythm and the rhyme. #
• Birthday is going smooth and as planned. The kids should be home from school and I'm sure all hell will break loose then! :) #
• I'm going to hit up the gym again later this evening for more cardio then call it a night. I've stayed away from work ALL DAY! Yay! #
• Awesome! WTG! RT @Have2LoseIt4ME:..I was able to fit into a pair of pants I once could not wear! WOOT! #
• Thx so much! RT @Tina2967: @anonfatgirl Happy Birthday!!!! #
• Many thx!!! RT @Have2LoseIt4ME: Happy Birthday to —-> @anonfatgirl May your day be blessed with Happiness & Love! :) #
• I hate when that happens… LOL RT @MeWaistingTime: Damn scale seems stuck. Shake, shake. No, not moving that way:( #
• I agree 100% RT @DrKal: Is it just me or are old time Mickey Mouse cartoons scary? #
• My mom bought me Instant Under Arm for my birthday. I wish I were joking. It's like she forgot I workout and my bags of shit are diminishing #
• I just may try it out for laughs. I don't whether to be insulted by the gift or if she just wanted to feel better because she has some too. #
• Lots of work appointments today. I hate appointments. I'd just rather sit behind my computer and hide. Oh wait! That's what got me fat. #
• Well and fact that I sat on my ass all of the time and would eat boxes of Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies. There were many factors… #
• Here's to hoping the clients I meet with today are cool and NOT douche-baggy as some can be. :) #
• Cool. Got my copy of "Born to Run" by Christoper McDougall this morning. Can't wait to read it. #
• I LOVE it!!! RT @Have2LoseIt4ME: @anonfatgirl Wanted 2 share w/u my right fore arm tat, got it last July. http://yfrog.com/35bjefj #
• Why so strict? :( RT @MeWaistingTime: over 6 weeks now with no grains or fruit in the morning. sigh. #
• So very true!!! RT @DrKal: Losing weight is simple but it is not easy. Always remember that. #
• There's nothing wrong with trying something new! Keep me updated :) RT @MeWaistingTime: @anonfatgirl More protein in the morning. #
• My four year old is sick again today. A trip to the pediatrician is on tap. :( #
• @shedthefatsuit I know the "term" may turn some people off, but I had to write it. LOL!\ in reply to shedthefatsuit #
• Don't give up – it WILL happen! RT @MeWaistingTime: the scale is moving the wrong way despite no cheating on my diet. frustrating. #
• Oh man I have a bad head cold. Slurping chix noodle soup. 4 out 5 in our family has it. Yuck! #
• Simply AWESOME RT @amerrylife:…please go leave a comment on this awesome video post. Dude lost 285 lbs. http://bit.ly/bGUo1f #
• RT @shedthefatsuit: new veggies to try! http://bit.ly/awMd8Q #
• RT @DrKal: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." – Friedrich Nietzsche #

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