A few days ago, I posted “I’m happy to be fat“. It got a few people riled up. Particularly those that felt that you can’t assume that everyone is unhappy just because of their size or because they are “fat”.

Wikepedia’s definition of happiness:

Happiness is an emotional state that is characterized by feelings of enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction.

I think it’s fair to say that MOST of you that read my blog are: (1) currently overweight or obese and are trying to get the weight off; or (2) have been overweight or obese at some point in your life but currently have your weight under control. (I also know there ARE others that do not fit into one of these categories. I’d love to hear your opinions on these questions as well.)

I’d love to learn about you and your experience, so if you could please take the time to post your answers to the two questions in the comments section, you may be helping me and many others that read here.

QUESTIONS

#1

Have you thought about what was the reason(s) for your weight gain? Was it due to a lack of happiness on some level?

#2

When you were at your heaviest, were you truly content and happy (satisfied) with your life? I’m talking about ALL or MOST ASPECTS.

(Some examples: Were you happy that you had little to no self esteem? Or that you couldn’t fit in an airline seat? Or that no one wanted to ask you out on a date?)

I wanted to take the time to answer these same questions in the context of my personal experience. I think my weight gain issues are so much more complicated than two simple questions and answers, but I’m going to do my best.

MY ANSWERS

#1

I believe my weight gain was a direct effect of my unhappiness in my life. Emotional overeating was the way I dealt with issues and situations in my life that were out of my control. I believe a lot of my weight issues have had to do with being abandoned as a child by my father.

#2

There were certainly POSITIVE and HAPPY moments in my life when I was at my heaviest weight. That being said, my inner self was not truly happy and content. I had no self control over how I dealt with my emotions or how I handled food.

Even though my inner self was extremely UNHAPPY I did project a sunny disposition most of the time – and at times I believed I was TRULY happy. The thing is, I now know I wasn’t happy. I knew then, deep down too, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself.

It was mortifying to me that I couldn’t shop in regular stores or easily fit in sit down restaurant booths. I felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. I was getting jipped. Things weren’t fair. I wasn’t able to do all the things that thinner people could do. I was treating my body so poorly and had a low self esteem. The irony is I almost had myself CONVINCED I was completely happy on some level.

I know there are lots of you that didn’t agree with me on the initial post a few days ago. I know everyone’s experience is different than my own. I look forward to reading and learning more about you and YOUR personal experience. :)

Yesterday I did NOT want to go and workout. I delayed my usual 4:00 pm workout. I thought of excuses why I should skip it.

Excuses like:

• I have a sinus headache.
• I’m still spent from Sunday’s workout with my trainer.
• I have web design work to do from home.
• I want to just sit on the couch and do NOTHING.
• I had a busy day at work and just don’t feel like going!

All of these were true, and all of these were excuses. Did I go to the gym and get my workout in?

YES

Did I push it harder than I usually do?

YES

I consciously thought about my decision and the ramifications of it. I thought about if I did NOT go, how easy it would be in the future for me to let excuses get in the way of my goals. I would be setting a precedent. I didn’t want to set a new standard of excuses = no gym.

I love this poster. I was really feeling my age last
year but you know what? Not anymore!

Last night I remember thinking, “Now I’ve made it to the gym – and I’m going to MAKE IT freaking COUNT.”

I changed things up a bit last night. I get bored VERY EASILY in my life, and this can translate to my gym sessions. So I decided I’d mix things up.

I hit the treadmill for 17 minutes and ran/jogged for most of it. Then I hit stomach/core exercises and then hit the weights. After about an hour of that, I hit the treadmill again for about 7 minutes of more cardio, running most of it.

Instead of doing three sets of everything, I’ve went down to two sets so that I can do a variety of more exercises and not get bored. I really like that. And splitting up the cardio before AND after my workout was cool.

When I left the gym I was completely covered in sweat. I mean DRENCHED. And out of breath. That’s how I’ve been measuring my workout success lately. I’m getting to know my body and I know when it’s working hard.

I put in one of the hardest self-motivated workouts I have ever done last night. All because I didn’t let excuses get in my way.

Last night when I was working hard, I realized it was my four month “health” anniversary.

And I was so HAPPY that I went and MADE IT COUNT.

Summer is almost here! Are you making it count? Are you changing your workout routine up to keep it interesting?

This is a guest post written by my personal trainer Dean. I hope you enjoy. :)

Hard & Work

Two words that if put together or said separately can ruin a good day. Or is that really the truth?

Hard work in many ways can make any day better.

Applying those words to the gym…

• Hard work can make your clothes fit better.
• Hard work can make you feel sexier.
• Hard work can relieve stress.
• Hard work can give you energy.
• Hard work in the gym can and will make you feel like you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Everyone’s definition of hard work is different. Some people tend to push themselves much harder than others. Being a trainer I tell people all the time to: “Tell your body when to stop, don’t let it tell YOU when to stop!” Mind over matter.

Oh sure, there’s a stopping point for everyone, but normally it’s far beyond what they consider it to be. How many times have you taken the weights or ran on the treadmill and for some reason when it seemed a bit hard you either set the weights down to rest or turned the treadmill down to catch your breath? Why not JUST ONCE try to push the weights one more rep or turn the treadmill up to a higher speed? The reason is, you’ve limited yourself to believe your BODY rather then your MIND.

Not all of us care to be on The Biggest Loser or on the other side of the spectrum of trying out for the Olympics, but I bet if it didn’t take effort we would all be ripped and trying out for The Next Top Model.

The truth is, our bodies want to be in shape! Our body wants to be able to run that marathon or wear that bathing suit. It wants you to feed it correctly and quit using it as a dumping ground for bad food, bad habits and bad exercise choices. Honestly, the average person could eat whatever they want in moderation with a good exercise program – but that takes effort and thought that so many just ignore the results of  those bad habits until it’s almost too late.

How many people do you know that get a gym membership or start exercising because they go to the doctor and he or she tells them that if they don’t get serious about their health they will be finding themselves in the hospital or six feet under? That’s when they finally decide to listen and take things seriously. Why now? Because it’s to the point of being too late. They see their mortality. They see what they’ll be leaving behind and now regret what they’ve become. Now they’ll go to any length to keep this life of theirs going. If they only would’ve listened to their bodies a long time ago they wouldn’t be in this dire situation now.

Getting lazy and out of shape doesn’t happen over night. It can and almost always takes years. If you’re struggling with quitting anything – eating, smoking, chewing, drinking, and the list goes on and on – listen to your body, listen to that little voice in your head, listen to your heart and make the right choice of being healthy. If you fail, don’t quit trying. Everyday you try to quit is another day closer to success. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

If you need to, ask for help and if you’re sincere I bet you will find someone to give it to you. Look around you and see what you’re missing out on. See what you may be losing. See what you may be leaving. The last thing you want your family to hear is: “If they only would’ve listened they’d still be here today.”

I don’t mean to make this depressing, but what can be more depressing then being led through life by a bad habit? Make the right choices today and see what new things tomorrow brings when you apply HARD WORK. You will be amazed! Summer is coming and what a great way to start it.  Get up early, go to the gym, go for a walk, go find the new you!

Tomorrow’s really “the day” but I’m doing my check in today since it’s Sunday – and Sunday is my usual weigh in day.

February was NOT a good month for me in pounds lost on the scale. I didn’t lose much of anything the first few weeks and had some gains going on too. I don’t measure my success solely by the scale. I do weigh myself periodically, but I do NOT freak out when the scale doesn’t show me what I want to see. I merely make note of the number and move on.

What do I measure my success by? There are a lot of things:

• My fitness accomplishments in the gym
• My monthly measurements
• How my clothes are fitting
• How I feel emotionally and mentally

Fitness accomplishments in the gym:
I’m doing GREAT at the gym! I’ve learned to workout by myself and really PUSH it.

Yesterday, I ran for 12 minutes STRAIGHT on the treadmill without stopping. I’m going to go for 15 minutes today. When I started back in November, I could hardly even run a minute. It was very hard for me.

I’ve learned to embrace the shitty ab machine that I was terrified of for the first 2 months. My muscles – arms, legs & core – are getting more defined and I can really tell I’m working them well.

Here’s that picture I took of myself
a few days ago at the gym.

How my clothes are fitting:
The clothes I started with are VERY loose and I’ve went down about two sizes. I’ve had to buy new exercise clothes in particular because the old ones are hanging off of me!

How I feel emotionally and mentally:
I’ve been feeling great emotionally and mentally. I’m positive and getting through the bumps in the road well. I’m looking at this journey as a long term lifestyle, NOT a destination. I have a lot of stress in my life and I’m not letting it get the best of me.

My monthly measurements:
Below is a chart with my measurements from when I started in November 2009 all the way to today. I’m losing inches! :)

I lost 4.50 inches & 3.2 pounds this month

I think the waist measurement is a little deceiving. I know I wouldn’t be able to wear 39″ jeans, because my stomach is a mess and still large. But, I’m measuring in the same place EACH time, so it is what it is.

Earlier while I was catching up on some NCAA basketball games on the tube (I LOVE March!), I was flipping through my DVR guide and seen a show listed on MTV called “True Life” with the subject, “I’m happy to be fat”. Click here to see more info about the show.

It really pissed me off.

I don’t think anyone is “happy being fat”. Of course this is only MY OPINION, but I believe it with every fiber in my being. I believe people that say they are “happy being fat” are lying to themselves and in some serious FAT DENIAL.

Let me tell you why I feel this way.

I look at being fat / obese / severely overweight (in most cases) as an indicator of a much bigger problem or issue. I am talking about those individuals that DO NOT have a medical reason for having weight issues.

“At 476 pounds, Mikey is a happy and successful individual.
Unfortunately, he hasn’t been able to find a guy in Memphis’
gay community to love him for his size.”

Mikey desperately wants to find love and to help this process
along he makes a calender of nude pictures of him.
He then has a fund raiser and features himself. Mikey shows
a lot of  confidence in this episode and really shows that his
weight will not interfere with him being happy.

COME ON Mikey – stop with the bullshit. Are you really a
“happy individual”? Because your body language and
weight is projecting a completely different message.

Think about it. Have you ever known an alcoholic or a chronic abuser of drugs? Don’t you look at that person and feel pity for them that they cannot change their life for the better? I know I do.

My father is an alcoholic and I feel very sorry for him. I feel sorry for him that he pounds a case or more of Busch Light then follows that up with a fifth of Jack Daniels or Yager in one day. When I’ve told him that I feel sorry for him, his response is that I shouldn’t feel sorry for him because he’s perfectly “happy with his life”.

It’s pure denial – and pure bullshit.

My father’s problem is no different than my struggle with obesity or anyone else’s.

When you are happy with your life and the way you look, you DO NOT suffocate your feelings, emotions or day to day existence with food or another drug (like alcohol).

If you are obese and think you are “happy” with being fat then you are living in freaking denial.

If you were HAPPY you wouldn’t treat your body as poorly as you do. You wouldn’t over feed it. You wouldn’t suffocate your emotions or repress your inner feelings with Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies or twinkies.

Maybe you don’t know how to get out of the vicious cycle of overeating. Maybe you don’t know what to do to get the fat off. Fine, that’s fair to admit that.

But don’t lie to yourself (and everyone else) and say you are “HAPPY BEING FAT” because you are NOT.